DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend says he loves me and wants to be with me but he won’t get divorced.
We’ve been dating for six months. I’m 25 and I’m a white girl. He’s 26 and, like me, from Yorkshire, but he’s a Hindu and has a wife in India. He says he can’t get divorced while his father is alive.
We have the same group of friends but he hasn’t told them I’m his girlfriend and tells me to keep quiet about our relationship. I don’t understand why he needs to be secretive like this.
He is also worried that I wasn’t raised as a Hindu as he says we have different beliefs and this would cause problems when we have kids.
Should I be patient and give him more space to think everything through or is he just wasting my time?
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry but from what you have said, he is offering you nothing at all.
He’s using his religion as an excuse when the real issue is he is already married.
Keeping your relationship secret even from friends suggests that on all sorts of levels he is not being honest with you.
Save yourself lots of heartache and tell him he isn’t the right man for you.
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