STEVE BRUCE was sitting on the loo when he was reminded how bog standard Newcastle have become.
The Geordie spent a toilet break reading a newspaper article about the time the Toon were flush with goals with Alan Shearer and Les Ferdinand leading the line.
But for boss Bruce it was a reality check about how Newcastle have gone down the pan — at a time his misfiring front three are driving him potty.
Ahead of today’s clash at the London Stadium, he said: “I was sitting on the loo last week, turning over the paper.
“I saw Shearer and Ferdinand and thought, ‘wow!’ We had the best centre-forward in England and both England’s front two.
“The club has since been down twice in ten years and we have to accept we are like ten, 11 teams we feature in the bottom half of the Premier League. That’s what we are and it is always a fear.”
With Newcastle’s £77.25million attacking trio of Joelinton, Miguel Almiron and Allan Saint-Maximin having managed just one goal between them, Bruce joked he would be better off with England’s World Cup rugby stars.
He added: “If we can get a couple of their forwards up front, they might do OK!”
Bruce is set to have to stick with the same front three for today’s trip but said: “It can’t continue forever.
“Those three up top have only played together three times.
“We have made a huge investment in them. Unfortunately forward players are judged on how many goals they score, so it’s something we have to improve with them.
“It’s very difficult for them to adapt straight away. There’s not many who hit the Premier League running. The big thing, of course, is confidence.
“They are young, they will get better and it’s up to me and the coaching staff to try to bring out the best in them.”
Bruce does have experience on the bench in Dwight Gayle and Andy Carroll, who is fit to feature on a return to his old club after a groin strain.
The Geordie giant, 30, has played just 89 minutes since he re-joined on a free transfer in the summer, having been released by West Ham.
Bruce said: “We knew it was going to be a gamble. But if we can get him on the pitch then that calculated gamble will be worthwhile.
“With the type of contract he has signed, it was a risk worth taking.
“Around the dressing room, he makes a difference.”
Ahead of Saturday’s clash, Manuel Pellegrini is backing stand-in keeper Roberto as West Ham battle to bolster their wobbly defence.
The Hammers have not won, or kept a clean sheet, in the three games since club No 1 Lukasz Fabianski, 34, tore a hip muscle at Bournemouth.
But Pellegrini is adamant Spaniard Roberto, 33, is not to blame.
He said: “Of course we all saw the performances of Lukasz last season and this season. He was a great goalkeeper, maybe the best keeper in the league.
“We must also be fair to Roberto. He is a good keeper, he’s made very good saves.
“It’s impossible not to miss Lukasz but you cannot link a result to just one player. It is why you have a squad.”
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West Ham’s home form has dipped in recent weeks.
A surprise 2-1 defeat by Crystal Palace was followed by a 1-1 draw with Sheffield United.
Pellegrini added: “We must have a better mentality at home — pay more attention to keeping a clean sheet.”