My mother and stepdad deny ever arguing in front of me and laugh at my depression

DEAR DEIDRE: MY mother’s partner came into my life when I was six. He’s never hidden the fact I don’t matter to him.

I never called him “Dad”, as Mum said I should.

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My mother and her partner deny that they always used to argue when I was younger[/caption]

I could see how he loved his older daughter and he adores my spoilt little sister, who is his child. I always knew he didn’t love me.

I grew up angry. They rowed a lot and I’d get caught in the crossfire – but now they deny ever arguing in front of me.

When I told them I suffer from depression, they scoffed and laughed at me.

I’m 21 now. I accept responsibility for my behaviour. Why can’t they?

DEIDRE SAYS: It feels safer to your mum and stepdad to tell themselves they gave you a lovely childhood.

Their denial may go so deep they believe it.

I doubt they will change now – and you can’t rewrite your childhood – but you are an adult and can take steps to minimise the damage and free your future to live more happily.

See your GP about your depression and contact The Mix for help coping with family hurt (themix.org.uk, 0808 808 4994).

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